The 19 Things I’ve Learned In 2019 | Self Reflection

It’s that time of year again angels! I can’t believe we are about to enter into another new year and of course, a brand new decade. This is the ultimate opportunity for change, growth and development. Make this decade your best one yet. Be your happiest and most true self this time. Remember that life isn’t a practice run, this is the real deal and we only get one shot.

I’ve been writing these posts as a somewhat tradition since my blog began in 2016. I think it’s a great way to reflect on the year that has passed whilst remembering what we have learned and where there is room to improve.

1. You’re only human.

You physically can not please everyone at once and at one point you’re going to have to learn to say no! One of my favourite quotes in the world is “you can be the juiciest, ripest peach in the world and there’s still going to be someone that doesn’t like peaches”

2. Trust the timing of your life.

If you’re waiting to feel ready for that next big step in life, you might be waiting a life time. Nothing worth having comes easy and sometimes the universe knows what you need before you do. If it’s what you really want then the time is now. Don’t beat around the bush – life is just too short.

3. The word no is in your vocabulary!

You can say no! – one of my worst qualities is that I’m constantly worrying about what other people think of me. It’s enough to drive you insane! It’s always nice to help others, but don’t burn yourself out trying to please everyone.

4. Your mental health is a non-negotiable.

I’ve always thought self care was for those days when you felt a bit rubbish and you need a bit of a pick me up. Whilst that’s true, it’s important to care for your mental health even on your good days. Don’t let yourself burn out and if something isn’t good for you and your mental state, refer to point three.

5. Perfection does not exist!!!

So many times in my life I’ve compared myself to others and tried to strive for perfection. The truth is that nobody is perfect and whilst I think deep down we all know this, sometimes we need a little reminder. Instagram only shows the best versions of users lives. We’re all guilty of putting on the best filters, picking our best angles and only showing the best and most fun aspects of our true life. The reality is that it’s all for show. As fun as social media is, sometimes it’s good to sit back and remember that you are perfect as you are and you don’t need to change yourself to look like that Instagram model. ” Comparison is the thief of joy.”

6. Always aim high but not higher than you can reach.

It’s so important to want the best for yourself and to try and be the best you can be. However, we are only human and expecting too much will only lead to disappointment. It’s better to just have small steps in place to get to where you want to be. For example, since graduating in summer, ive struggled to get the job that I was hoping for. I’m reminding myself that I need to work harder on smaller steps in order to get to that point. It doesn’t just apply to careers, though. Think of blogging. Maybe you started a blog this year and haven’t hit your target views yet. The truth is that the universe will eventually reward you for your hard work but good things take time and anything worth having, won’t come easy. Start with reaching for the stars and we’ll work on the moon later.

7. Everyone grows at their own pace.

This one is similar to points five and six but I really want to drum this one in. As a parent especially I think it’s hard not to compare your child’s development to kids of the same age but the truth it is that that everyone learns differently and that’s perfectly fine. It’s the same with adults too. Your best friend might have settled down with the man of her dreams, starting a family or buying a house. Sure you might want to do the same but why rush? Trust the timing of your life and just appreciate where you are now. The world is beautiful when you only stop to take a breath.

8. Great things don’t happen inside your comfort zone.

Branch out a little more whenever you can and you will see that amazing things can happen.

9. Make sure you feel good from within.

Have you ever seen the quote that says good vibes will shine out of you like sun shine? It’s so true. Being happy on the inside really reflects on your appearance and lifestyle.

10. Being skinny isn’t everything.

It’s much more important to be healthy and happy and have a full tummy.

11. Everyone needs help sometimes.

It’s okay to reach out, that’s what your friends and family are for! Wouldn’t you want your best friend to tell you if she was struggling? She will want you to do the ale thing – don’t ever be ashamed for asking for a little helping hand.

12. It’s okay to set the reset button.

Each day the sun sets and will rise again the following morning. This is your chance to hit reset and have a better day than the previous.

13. Don’t take anyone, or anything for granted.

Unfortunately life is full of twists and turns, sometimes for the worst. You can never guarantee waking up the next day with the same circle of people around you. This is why it’s so important to appreciate everyone in your life and make memories as often as you can.

14. What love really is

This is more of something I’ve learned over the past two years since my son was born but I had to include it. Everyone says to you (sometimes in a patronising way) that you don’t know what love is until you have a baby. I always thought, yes I do? I love my friends, family, boyfriend, dog … but no really… the love you have for your child is a whole other level. You would do anything for them, die for them if needed and that’s the most amazing (but terrifying) thing.

15. Live a little

Don’t worry about what people think, embrace your opportunities and just have FUN!

16. Love more!

It costs nothing to be kind, but it could mean the whole world to someone who is struggling. Love everyone, smile, spread joy wherever you go. Everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about, so it’s important to give everyone a little piece of love.

17. Sleep is so very necessary.

I always like to think I’m one of these people who can cope with minimal sleep but since my child finally started to sleep better, I feel like a whole new person and I’ve realised I wasn’t really coping at all and I probably looked horrific walking around with those dark circles!

18. Don’t underestimate the power of good skin care.

We all need to stop slacking and get great skin, most of us turn 30 this decade, let’s start behaving so we don’t all get .. crows feet x x

19. Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend.

This is one of the best pieces of advice I ever heard and it came from a therapy session. There have been so many instances where I’ve mentally beaten myself black and blue with guilt and tormented myself with an abundance of “what ifs?”. If your best friend made a mistake or felt guilty about something you’d tell them to let it go, right? You’d tell them that they don’t deserve to cause themselves so much pain. Whenever you’re struggling just imagine your best friend coming to you with that problem and think about what you’d say to them.

I hope you all have the chance to reflect on the past year and the past decade and learn some life lessons to take with you into 2020. If you’re going out tonight please stay safe, stick together and have fun. I wish you all the best for 2020!

Thank you so much to every single person who has visited my blog and read my posts this year, I appreciate each and every single one of you.

All my love and a very happy new year,


Author: beccahargate

Beauty & Fashion Blogger @beccalhargate